Arillas Secedes! Declared an Independent Municipal District of North Corfu
Dear fellow villagers, friends, and visitors of Arillas!
Following a unanimous (and highly secret) decision by the residents, we proudly announce today, April 1st, the official secession of Arillas and its surrounding scattered settlements from the Municipality of North Corfu. As of today, Arillas operates as an Autonomous Independent Municipal District!
Our patience has run out, and we are now taking matters into our hands. The new administration has already drafted the first Municipal Regulatory Constitution of Arillas and is bringing radical changes that will be discussed worldwide:
Arillas from now on occupies all the surrounding neighborhoods, namely Afionitika, Kavvaditika, Mpountaeika (up to the Akrotiri Kefali), all of Staousa, and secedes from Magoulades from the cemetery and below. Also, the island of Gravia finally belongs administratively to Arillas and is included in a global program for the protection of its flora, fauna, and its name.
The New Parallel Economic System & "ArillasCoin"
Parallel to the Euro! We are launching our very own cryptocurrency, through which we will manage all local projects with absolute transparency. The best part? The municipal tax is abolished! Property and business owners in Arillas will "pay" their contributions in products or services, such as making a free promotional post for Arillas on social media, every single day.
Visitors will be able to exchange Euros or other currencies into ArillasCoin at local exchange offices and enjoy huge discounts and privileges.
Ban on Airbnb and Booking.com
We are deleting Arillas from the maps of multinational corporations! The use of Booking, Airbnb, and other similar platforms is strictly prohibited. All accommodation bookings will now be made exclusively through the area's central website (arillas.org), without middlemen and hidden fees, directly with the owners.
Thus, the commissions previously paid to these companies are converted into a local municipal tax for the area.
The 12-Man Tourist Police
To enforce law and order, the "Tourist Police" and an elite Tourist Army consisting of exactly 12 veteran Arilliots are established. Their main mission? Guarding the borders, the immediate crackdown on illegal free camping, and the permanent elimination of nudism. Violators will be summarily deported... to the neighboring Municipality.
Immediate Solution to the Water Problem
We are drafting all private boreholes, water tanks, and wells in Arillas and connecting them directly to the main network. With a single law and a single article.
Garbage Management
This will be handled by direct assignment to a well-known local who will collect recyclables directly from businesses for free, as well as mixed garbage... once a week. Our ROMA friends will continue, as always, to collect scrap metal every weekend. As for non-recyclable heavy and bulky items, they will just drop them off on their way to Agios Ioannis... right inside the borders of the Central Municipality of Corfu.
Customs and the "Arillas Visa"
A permanent customs office is being set up at the main intersection of the village. Every visitor must obtain an "Arillas Visa". The cost of the Visa will not be in money, but in the obligation to buy a local Corfiot beer for the very first Arilliot they meet!
Return to Tradition and Heavy Tariffs
A strict embargo is imposed! Heavy tariffs are placed on all foreign products and imported "alternative" healing practices. We are returning to our roots:
- The local Corfiot dialect becomes the official language of the community.
- Only local ancient alternative therapies are allowed (e.g., olive oil rubs and traditional cupping therapy), "Xematiasma" (Evil Eye removal), Cartomancy, and reading coffee grounds. The Church of the Ascension is also reinforced, and its miraculous Icon is promoted worldwide.
Municipal Sunset and Evil Eye Removal Service
We are creating the first service worldwide dedicated exclusively to enjoying life. Every evening at sunset, the village bell will ring, and all work must compulsorily stop. Also, the "Evil Eye Removal" department will offer free services from the village grandmas to tourists who feel their "energy is heavy".
Mandatory "Earthing" (Instead of Yoga)
Because we want to keep our alternative vibe but in our own way: Instead of expensive yoga retreats, the new official "earthing" therapy of the autonomous community will be agricultural labor... olive picking. Cultivating potatoes, the unique Arillas artichoke and tomato, and collecting wood in the river's reed beds. Tourist participation will be mandatory to truly feel the energy of the Corfiot land (and to help us out in the fields).
Ban on Cars and Pedestrianization
To protect our microclimate, all private cars are banned. Transport within Arillas will now be done exclusively with electric donkeys (subsidized by European funds) and with the new Solar cable car that has already been ordered to connect the beach with Mpountaika and Afionas.
The Law of the Sacred Hour and Rest
A strict law is passed protecting the afternoon nap. From 15:00 to 17:30, the Tourist Police will hand out heavy fines (payable in ArillasCoin) to anyone making noise—even the cicadas, if possible!
Our independence is a fact! Long live the Free Municipal District of Arillas!
... ... ... (Have a great month and Happy April Fools' Day to everyone! Wishing you all health, a great sense of humor, and an excellent summer season!
